Campbell’s Soup :60 College Radio “Poetry”
(Sounds of obsessive cleaning)
MOM: Sara, I’m going to obsessively clean this window until I blurt out that I can’t believe you chose Elizabethan Poetry as your major.
DAUGHTER: I’m going to look at you for several moments without saying anything…
SFX: Clock ticking.
DAUGHTER: …then go into another room and slam a door.
SFX: SLAM
MOM: I’m going to keep pretending to clean while I fume!
DAUGHTER: I will now slam another door…
SFX: SLAM
DAUGHTER: TWICE!
SFX: SLAM
MOM: I am now completely unhinged because I hate door slamming just slightly less than Elizabethan Poetry!
DAUGHTER: I am now going to the pantry!
MOM: I’m following you.
SFX: Door opening. Rummaging sounds.
DAUGHTER: I’m taking every can of Campbell’s Chunky soup with me back to school because its delicious and I’m poor!
MOM: And I will choke down my outrage at that new tattoo I just noticed for the first time because I want you to have decent meals!
DAUGHTER: AND I LOVE YOU FOR LETTING ME!
MOM: AND YOU”LL ALWAYS BE MY LITTLE GIRL!
DAUGHTER: LETS BOTH STORM OFF IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!
MOM: OK!
VO: Campbell’s. It’s amazing what soup can do. Campbell’s Soup College Radio :60 “Dorm”
MOM: Your father and I are helping you move into your dorm room even though you’re clearly embarrassed by us.
SON: I’m deliberately walking ten paces in front of you so no one thinks I’m related to you.
MOM: I’m trying not to be upset, as that would signify weakness, not to mention it will just set your father off!
DAD: (through gritted teeth) Your disrespect to your doting mother is making me grind my teeth so much I have a jaw cramp!
SON: I’m using body language to communicate my profound dislike for you right now, and I’m using eye-rolling to tell you to leave already before any girls see you.
MOM: I’m now desperately changing the subject before your father explodes by handing you this case of Campbell’s Chunky SOUP!
DAD: AT THE RISK OF APPEARING AS THOUGH WE’RE CODDLING AN UNGRATEFUL OFFSPRING, WE’RE GIVING IT TO YOU BECAUSE WE KNOW IT’S YOUR FAVORITE! AND YOU CAN SAVE SOME MONEY BY HAVING IT FOR DINNER!
SON: I AM MOVED BY THIS GESTURE! IF OTHER PEOPLE WEREN”T AROUND I’D HUG THE BOTH OF YOU!
DAD: LETS BOTH PRETEND TO LEAVE WITH AN AIR OF INDIFFERENCE.
MOM: WE LOVE YOU!
SON: AND THIS CASE OF SOUP SHOWS ME THAT!
SFX: SLAM DOOR
VO: Campbell’s. It’s amazing what soup can do.